Snow is Cold

Yesterday evening on the train home, in a bout of melancholy rage at not having the proper audio codec installed on my laptop to watch the movie i was planning to, i wrote a long essay (or rant, rather) about my life, but i’ve decided not to post it here for two reasons. the first is that i really don’t think it’s for the world to see. i can personally appreciate it, but without knowing me and my capacity for introspection i just think it might come off as depressing. if only i could express myself more clearly. the second is that my friend fi made a (validated, probably) point a couple weekends ago that everyone she knows who maintains a blog sounds like a manic depressive, and i just don’t wanna be pidgeon-holed like that :) however if you feel like a good old light hearted read then email me – each case will be considered individually :)

I guess the reason WHY that is [regarding the manic depressives], is that the internet is a soundboard for those people – a friend who’s forever listening and never interrupts :) i mean you don’t HAVE to read those kinda posts, but i’ve found that it’s sometimes reassuring that others are in the same boat. plus, it relieves frustration and enlightens others to one’s angst, which may have otherwise gone unnoticed… ok i’m gonna shut up now.

Here’s a tune to listen to though whilst reading such jolly material: M83 – ‘Slight Night Shiver’.

Anyways what’s been up… well we’ve still not found a house and i’m OVER LOOKING. in fact i think it’s safe to say we’re all pretty damn fed up with it. ffs. househunting is like the most tedious thing ever, especially when your group are divided in their opinions of where, when and how [much]. what’s especially not fair is that my friend chris went for one viewing and took the first house he saw. how goddamn unfair is that?! ;) i haven’t even gotten onto jobs properly yet, and i should really be a bit more concerned about it given that i have approximately four days of part-time employment left until i’m officially done… decisions still have to be made but it’s just impossible. that’s probably why i wrote what i did before – fear of commitment and indecisiveness. i guess i have to admit that i’m a yujufudan hito :/ bah. still, nothing ventured nothing gained etc etc, so tomorrow is going to be dedicated to a marathon job sesh. come on.

Regarding choice of work, well, the best me & gurpal could come up with was that a solution would present itself. this was, however, after our brief conversation about how we’re both part believers in fate – so should i trust him? :) nah i’m sure that’s right and everything will be fine. i guess i just have to wait for the epiphany to happen.

As a testiment to how committed i am to finding a job though, instead of sitting in all afternoon and doing research on monday, i ended up going out drinking mid-afternoon in camden town… (you guys!) – the four pints were to sink any hopes of being productive..

That aside, had a fairly heavy weekend, which was capped by an excellent night out at cargo in shoreditch. especially when they played ‘silent shout’ by the knife. what a fucking awesome tune/moment.

Reality is such a drag.